little red riding hood and other things that are dead

in yet another ploy to make off with my second-born child, Lauren comes dressed as me. we were going to have a contest to see who she would come to first, but i decided not to risk it.

notes on the day of the dead:

:: remember next year and every year thereafter, to say no to stuffing. it's hot and it itches and, since plump little children are cute, parents like me want to overdo it in a force-y kind of way.

:: other rules en-forced: (1) if you want candy, you have to wear the hat; (2) no peeing in a stranger's house when they've just given you candy {however, on the front lawn of their neighbor's dark house is fine. but next time, be mindful of child's tender bottom near thorny bushes}.

:: remember to have kids wear pants, not skirts, so when they run too fast in the dark, they won't get bloody "boo-boos" and fall asleep on my back on the way home. except they can fall asleep on my back if they want because it's nice.

:: remember Ally's exclamations: "oh, what a JOY!" and "i got more candy!" after every house and, when sharing candy, "dad will love this priceless gift!"

:: referring to the popular sexy nurse, sexy cat, sexy witch costumes, an NPR host asked a costume shop owner, when did Halloween become a parade of strumpets?

:: at one door Ally was advised to take more candy, "because [your parents] are going to eat most of it anyway."

all of which begs the question: who's this holiday for anyway?