#TBT (I think that means Turn Back Time. I don't know! I don't care!)

I stumbled on an old email exchange with my sibs in which we all gave updates of our lives. Aha! I thought, now I don't have to write a new one on the blog. This one's only 18 months old! [sniff. Yep, still fresh!]

Liv's protracted bedtime routine and her stories about "bowlies" who punch her will have to wait another, mmmm, 18 months. Same goes for updates on Emmett, the Babe, who is just delightful and that's all you need to know about that.

Here's what was happening in January of 2013. Nevermind that one third of my children weren't (wasn't?) even imagined yet.

The toilets have been overflowing a lot; yesterday they both blew at once. Usually I like to blame Lauren for these things, but Dad was also here recently, so I think the Viking Lord might be good for that one. It couldn't be any of us; we never poo and only have Barbie parts down there. Wait, this just in. Liv. It was Liv. She's been flushing TP wads the size of baseballs down the chute.

Ally started taking piano lessons in the summer and hates it. "MOM! Why did you choose this for me?!" is the daily tirade, followed by angry pounding on the keyboard and listless arpeggios played with one finger, ala Schroeder to Lucy. Like many mothers before me I continue to push it on her anyway, using the time-tested reasoning that worked so well for all the other moms: I am in too deep now. She's finally getting to play songs with both hands, so I console her with the bright thought that maybe by next summer she'll have developed enough strength in her fingers to choke me out.

First grade is a little creepy and Ally often wishes out loud that she could go straight from Kindergarten to college. Her teacher, The Schack, is of the old school and the homework is plentiful. But at least the curriculum was written in the seventies. Recess and lunch are her favorite subjects. Her after-school French classes have turned out to be a refuge for her; I'm not sure she's really learning any French but she really loves running up and down the long staircase to class. Other favorite things: hard-boiled eggs (without the yolk), television and sleepovers. 

Liv will be four this month but seems much younger to me than Ally was at that age. I remember Ally asking for a scooter and a microphone for her birthday; Liv wants a Hello Kitty plush that sits up. Both girls routinely wet their beds but Liv less often, as she is not as heavy a sleeper. Also, she snores charmingly. She is shy in new situations but loves to find a younger child to "teach." She is also shy in old situations. She is now a Sun Bean in primary and spends much of her time at home following Ally around and trying to talk someone (anyone!) into a game of Little Big Planet on the PS3. She tells funny jokes and says awesome stuff like (5 minutes ago as I was typing the last paragraph) "Mom, I didn't tinkle in this area!" Her ambitions are to get candy and not wear jeans, ever.

On the subject of day care, I have to put in my plug. I am the only parent among my friends who doesn't work full time and I also have the only children who have trouble with the full day school schedule. All the kids who were in day care sit cheerfully through class (the TAG class) and have long since cracked the code on playground sociability. They are good to go, while I'm trying to remove my kids' arms from my legs without taking off a layer of skin. I very often think I'd be doing them a favor if they spent more time away from me. If only I liked working...in any way...for anyone.... If we can afford it I'm thinking Liv will be doing preschool every day next year. Another good argument in favor of me going out and finding a job. 

OK, you know what? The more I think about it, the more I know Liv clogged the toilet. Usually I am present when she flushes because we have to do a ritual sendoff ("bye bye, Poop!") first, but she's been taking more "sponsability" for herself lately, and that's going to come at a price.

I am waking up stressed a lot of mornings lately and now that I'm in the Over 35 set, this manifests itself through new and curious pains throughout my body. This morning I felt a little like a pinball machine. Why the stress? It might be only the fact that I have to get up at 6:30 now instead of the 7:30 I've grown used to. "You suck," says Bim, who is already up and gone by then. Bim works and sometimes reads or sees a movie, but mostly works. I start a lot of projects, then go through long periods of time when I wonder what gave me the energy to start those projects, then wait until most of the food in the fridge is gone, and repeat. I planted a lot of roses last summer and we added a fruit cocktail tree that's now bearing Meyer lemons, navel oranges, mandarins and some other kind of orange. It's pretty. We'll see if we get any limes next year. Lauren often rescues plants or other goodies for work and gives me my pick. An awesome roll-top bread box and a 300 foot hose are some of my favorites. I like that. 

That's enough about us for now. Brian, I love your "sh!$ together, get our"  idea, with the planning and the writing. May I suggest a manifesto? You get to shout a lot and pound things and feel great about it. (Also you can go heavy on the ideals and light on the action plan, which is sort of how I like to approach a new year.) I too will be growing my beard out fully.......never (with never scheduled to happen about 3 days after I lose my 25th pair tweezers).

And, I'm out.